Happily Ever After
by floss bucket
Summary: Merlin has always known he would never get a happily ever after, but could a secret his mother has kept his whole life change that? Arthur/Merlin, Royal!Merlin, Slash, Suicidal Themes, Violence, Swearing, lots of angst, and maybe some smut.
1. Prologue

**This fic is dedicated to blackteaplease for two reasons. One: she's the one who got rid of my writers block. Two: We went to a Mexican restaurant in Germany and I didn't like my meal. She was VERY nice and let me have hers (a burger) while she ate mine. So I ended up paying for her meal as well, which cost a little bit more than what I owed her for something else, and I promised to dedicate this fic to her. So here it is!**

**WARNINGS: Slash (Merlin/Arthur), Severe Angst, Suicidal Themes, Swearing, Violence, possible smut later (probably not too graphic though). **

**Note: This main part of this story takes place between Episode 10 and 12 of Season 2, but there will be spoilers for Episode 13. **

**Prologue**

"Your Majesty, I'm afraid this curse has no cure. I predict that you only have approximately three years left."

"Very well. You may leave now."

The court physician left the royal chambers quickly, leaving King Alyn of Deira sighing into his hand. From the shadows next to the curtain came Matthias, Alyn's personal advisor and closest friend.

"My lord," he began "you will need an heir. The kingdom will be in chaos otherwise."

"Do not worry, Matthias, I have been training Maynard for this job for many years. He will make a fine king."

Matthias looked slightly hesitant about that idea. "Sire, if I may be blunt, the nobles do not respect Maynard. You will need a blood relative to keep the, in control."

"You know as well as I do that that is impossible" replied the King, sighing again. Unconsciously his hand crept down to the scar tissue between his legs, the only remnant of his three-day capture by bandits.

"What of Princess Hunith?" suggested Matthias. The King froze and then, very slowly, replied.

"My sister is no longer a blood relation of the royal line. She committed treason and was banished, never to return to Deira."

"But only her" answered Matthias, a knowing look in his eye.

"What do you mean?" questioned Alyn loudly, spinning on the spot from where he had been facing the window.

"Your father, very wisely I might add, only disowned and exiled the Princess, not her descendents. Any child she may have had will be an eligible heir."

The King smiled. Finally a solution to his problems. To his advisor he said "Summon the Investigator. He is to find Princess Hunith and her children and bring back information only. I will make an official visit when I know more."

TWO AND A HALF YEARS LATER

The herald blew his horn, announcing the arrival of the Investigator for the first time in over two years. The king mustered up energy to sit forward in his throne. He was frail these days – grey skinned and thin-haired. The curse the sorcerer had placed on him was killing him, a fact obvious to everyone who laid eyes upon His Majesty. But although the King's death was only months away, no heir had yet been named. This fact puzzled everyone, and the senior nobles were all plotting how to get hold of the throne.

The large wooden doors to the Throne Room opened and in walked the Investigator.

"What news?" asked the King impatiently. The Investigator bowed quickly but respectfully, before beginning his tale.

"The former Princess Hunith is currently living in the town of Ealdor, on the border of Uther and Cendred's kingdoms. She has one son by the name of Merlin who is currently working in Camelot as assistant to the Court Physician Gaius and the manservant of Prince Arthur."

"Excellent" said the King "send an embassy to Camelot at once and bring Prince Merlin back here. And Hunith." He added.

The Investigator hesitated slightly, before saying "My lord, there is something else you should know about Merlin. He is magical."

"Magical? In Camelot?" asked the King, shocked.

"Yes, I have seen it with my own eyes. And he is powerful too. It was he who managed to defeat Nimueh" replied the Investigator.

"Nimueh? My nephew defeated the most powerful sorceress in all Albion?"

"Yes, and I believe he will make a great King."

"Excellent. Matthias," he ordered, "send an embassy to Camelot via Ealdor and bring Hunith and Merlin back here. Also, make an announcement to the people that we now have an heir."

**Just a short prologue to get you hooked **** Hope you liked it! Next chapter will feature much more Merlin and Arthur, and you won't see these characters again until Chapter 2. In total, I have nine chapters planned, plus an epilogue and a prologue. These may get squashed together though, so don't take this as absolute. I won't start posting until I have at least three/four chapters written, so I don't leave you all hanging (unlike my other one… sorry!). Also I'm on an exchange, so how I'm writing this is in a book during my free lessons, and then typing it up at night. So the rate of updates will depend entirely on who's also in my free lessons! Btw, I did my research (on Wikipedia!) and Deira was in fact a kingdom in Ancient England. There was, however, no King Alyn. So… please review and tell me what you think – suggestions are very welcome since I only have the chapter basics planned out! **


	2. Chapter 1: Problems

**Chapter 1: Problems**

Merlin had always known he fancied boys. The feminine figures of the girls did nothing to him, but there was a _definite_ reaction when he looked upon another man. His first crush – all two weeks of it – was on his best friend Will. His first sexual experience had been with Thomas, a young traveller who was passing through Ealdor. His mother, Hunith, was very supportive of him, but he hadn't yet told anyone else except Will. It was just one more thing that made him different.

It was particularly difficult for him here in Camelot. He had _no-one_ to talk to about his second secret, and if anyone found out about his first he was dead. The biggest problem, however, was Arthur.

Arthur Pendragon. Son of Uther. Crowned Prince of Camelot. The Once and Future King. His fucking destiny.

Destiny, of course, meaning that he had to help Arthur become not only the King of Camelot, but of all Albion. A seemingly impossible task, given that he had enough trouble saving Arthur's life every other week.

Destiny did _not_ mean that he and Arthur belonged together in any way romantically. No matter _what_ anyone said about sides of coins. No matter what Merlin's heart told him. Arthur belonged with Gwen, simple as that. After all, it had been Gwen's kiss which had broken the enchantment on Arthur.

'_You know a person can have multiple true loves, Merlin'_ said that annoying voice in his head that sounded like a combination of Gaius and his mother. As usual, Merlin ignored it.

The fact was that no matter how many reasons his heart came up with, Arthur would never want Merlin. He'd have no chance at the happily ever after with Prince Charming that he'd once dreamed of. No, thought Merlin, no happily ever after for him.

Despite Merlin's inner conflict, he still arrived at Arthur's chambers the next morning, only to find Arthur in a temper that rivalled Uther's. As soon as he saw his servant, the Prince started yelling.

"This is appalling, Merlin! I told you yesterday to clean my armour, muck out my horses and polish my boots! And where the hell are my weapons for the hunt?"

"I-" began Merlin, ready to defend his actions.

"What were you doing, _Mer_lin? Picking flowers?" asked Arthur in a mocking tone.

"I was cleaning your room sire. There-"

Again, Arthur interrupted him. "I told you to do that yesterday, you idiot!"

"I-"

"Just go, Merlin. I've had enough of your idiotic behaviour. I'll be finding a new manservant tomorrow."

_What?_ thought Merlin _he's sending me away? Permanently?_ Merlin took one look in his master's eyes before realising that the man was serious. He turned and ran out of the room before Arthur could see the tears forming in his servant's – no, former servant's – eyes.

Before he knew it, Merlin was back in his small room in Gaius's quarters. He threw himself onto the pulling the covers up over his head. He didn't even bother trying to stop the sobs that wracked through his body every few seconds. There was no way Arthur could ever love him now. Not when he didn't even want him as a servant, let alone as a friend or something more.

The Prince hadn't even let Merlin explain that he'd found several of the items necessary for a very dangerous curse hidden in his master's bedroom, and had spent the whole day finding the rest and placing the strongest wards he could around Arthur's sleeping chambers. And although that may have been how Uther had trained Arthur to act, it wasn't Arthur. Arthur gave everyone a chance. _Except me_ he thought _He hates me._

The heartbreak he was feeling was terrible. It felt like his whole body had collapsed, not just his heart. Anything would be better than this. _Death_ would be better than this.

_Actually_, though Merlin, _that was an idea._ If he was dead he wouldn't have to feel this pain anymore. Arthur wouldn't have to put up with his stupid behaviour anymore. Everyone would be happy. And Gaius and his mother would understand, surely, he'd just write them a letter explaining why.

Not even bothering to wipe the tears from his eyes, Merlin moved to the small desk in his room and pulled out his quill, ink and parchment.

_Dear Mother and Gaius_ he began, a small smile on his face. Finally he was getting a happily ever after.

* * *

Arthur had a problem. A very, very big problem. And he had no-one to talk to about it. Usually he would complain to Merlin, and then consider taking the other man's advice, but there was no way he was going to Merlin about this.

Uther wasn't a good idea either. As soon as Arthur told his father, the King would have him locked in the cells for a week. Uther's opinion on situations such as Arthur's was very clear: not happening.

He also knew it would break Guinevere's heart if he told her, and he respected the girl far too much for that. By extension, Morgana was also out of the question.

Having exhausted all the possibilities of people to talk to, Arthur realised he was going to have to work this one out for himself. First step: list his problems. That was pretty easy, though Arthur. He was in love with Merlin.

Yes, Merlin.

As simple as it may seem, that one word created so many more problems for Arthur. The main one being that Merlin was a boy. He couldn't love boys. He was the Prince and that new religion his father was interested in forbid it.

Guinevere was in love with him, and he couldn't break her heart like that. After all, he did like her quite a lot (even if it wasn't love).

He was the Prince and therefore had to produce heirs. And that was _definitely_ impossible between two men. Even Arthur knew that.

And last, but certainly not least, Merlin would never love him. At one point Arthur had suspected Merlin of being gay, when he had caught him with that dress. But after some careful spying on his servant, he'd discovered that Merlin had stolen it for his girlfriend. Who Arthur had killed the next day. _Not_ that he had done it to free up Merlin for him.

His father had always taught Arthur that he should look out for his Kingdom, then himself. And Arthur knew that what he had to do would be good for bother, not matter how much it might hurt him at the start.

He had to drive Merlin away. Away from Camelot, away from Arthur. If Merlin stayed there any longer, Arthur knew that he wouldn't be able to resist the urge to kiss Merlin senseless. And that was not an option. He'd only just resisted hugging Merlin (which would have undoubtedly led to kissing) after they'd defeated the troll impersonating the Lady Katrina.

Unfortunately, Arthur knew that the only way to drive Merlin away from him was to hurt him. Badly. So when Merlin knocked on Arthur's chamber door the next morning, Arthur gathered his anger and prepared to hurt his love.

_All for the best,_ he though, before beginning to yell.

"This is appalling, Merlin! I told you yesterday to clean my armour, muck out my horses and polish my boots! And where the hell are my weapons for the hunt?" Although Merlin had indeed forgotten his chores, Arthur knew that his servant would have a very good explanation. But today the Prince wouldn't – couldn't – listen. He had to make Merlin leave.

"I-" began his servant, ready to give his explanation (which, although most likely ridiculous, Arthur would believe).

But he couldn't hear it his time. He couldn't stop now. So he took a deep breath and in a mocking tone questioned Merlin "What were you doing, _Mer_lin? Picking flowers?"

"I was cleaning your room sire. There-"

Dammit! He had to stop this now or he'd crack. Arthur realised that he'd have to go all the way with this: channel his father.

"I told you to do that yesterday, you idiot!"

"I-" protested Merlin.

_This is it,_ though Arthur "Just go, Merlin. I've had enough of your idiotic behaviour. I'll be finding a new manservant tomorrow.

His servant looked up, disbelief and the deep hurt of betrayal visible in his eyes. _Channel Uther, channel Uther,_ though Arthur desperately. Merlin had to believe he was serious or everything would go wrong.

And then, quicker than Arthur had ever seen Merlin move, his manservant turned and ran from the room. Well, he'd done it. He'd sent Merlin away. So why didn't he feel happy about it?

Arthur paced around his room, regret quickly seeping into his heart. Maybe that hadn't been the best idea. He certainly didn't feel good about it. In fact, he felt terrible. He'd hurt _Merlin_, the man he loved.

Fuck, he'd screwed up big time. Arthur knew that no matter what happened, he'd have to fix things up with Merlin. Even if it meant embarrassment and rejection. There was no choice. He'd have to apologise.

And with only Merlin on his mind, Arthur strode out of the room.

* * *

"Your Majesty, there is an embassy from King Alyn of Deira her to see you" said Sir Leon, Arthur's second in command.

"Very well, said Uther, leaning back in his throne, "Send them in."

Uther watched as the doors to the throne room opened and three figures walked through them. There were two men and a woman. One of the men Uther recognised as Matthias, King Alyn's personal advisor, and the other, by his uniform, as a member of the Deiran Guard. He knew that Matthias was rarely sent on diplomatic missions any more, and so his presence meant that this matter was of great personal importance to King Alyn.

However, the woman confused him. Uther was sure that this was the mother of Arthur's manservant, but then why was she here? Also, the clothes she was wearing were those of a lady, not of a village woman. Her poise was not appropriate for her station either, and it struck a chord in Uther's memory.

Pushing the matter of the woman's identity aside, Uther greeted his guests.

"Welcome, friends. What message from King Alyn?" he asked.

"Thank you for your hospitality, Your Majesty" replied Matthias, bowing. "We have been sent here by King Alyn to find his nephew and escort him back to Deira."

Upon hearing this, Uther sat up straighter in his chair. "Nephew? I was not award Alyn had a nephew." He questioned. He had hoped that no heir would be found and Deira would fall into chaos. It would be an easy target for Camelot's armies. But maybe he could work this to his advantage and create and alliance. Perhaps a marriage between Morgana and Alyn's nephew.

Matthias was explaining the situation. "I'm sure you remember Princess Hunith?" he questioned, continuing after Uther nodded. "She was disowned by the late King Olyvn, but her line was kept eligible for the throne. It is her son who is the heir?"

"But where is Princess Hunith?" asked Uther "I thought she disappeared."

With that comment, the woman stepped forward, looking exactly like the Princess she had once been. Finally, Uther recognised her for who she really was, and the memories of their brief courtship came back to him,

"Welcome to Camelot, Your Highness" he said to Hunith, smiling at her.

"Thank you, but I am afraid that is no longer my title, Your Majesty" she replied, keeping the situation formal.

Uther nodded once, and then turned back to Matthias. "So who is King Alyn's nephew?" he asked, listening carefully.

"I believe he is working here in Camelot in the royal household. His name is Merlin.

To say Uther was shocked was an understatement. Arthur's idiotic manservant was a Prince? It seemed impossible, yet it was true. Uther's mind worked quickly, trying to work out how to turn the situation to his advantage. A marriage to Morgana was a good idea, and he knew his ward was _friends_ with the boy, even though he was a servant – no, a Prince.

But Uther was far too well trained in the diplomatic arts to show any of this. Instead, he simply nodded and said "I believe he is currently attending to Arthur. I will have him brought here. Meanwhile, please enjoy some refreshments."

* * *

_I hope that you will understand_

_Merlin_

Merlin signed the bottom of the note and folded it once, leaving it there on the desk for someone to find. Out of his belt he pulled the small dagger Arthur had given him last midwinter. It was simple – a leather covered hilt with no jewels – but it was well made. And Merlin had cast several charms on it to ensure it never dulled. He'd found the spells for Arthur's swords, since they took _so bloody long_ to sharpen. Not that that was his problem anymore, he though, a small pang in his heart.

As Merlin laid the dagger across his left wrist, he felt a sort of peace overcome him. Arthur was with him now, in the dagger. He would not die alone.

And then, with a smile on his face, Merlin prepared to cut.

**Sorry. Review and there'll be an update soon!**


	3. Chapter 2: Revelations

**Chapter Two: Revelations**

Arthur was almost at Gaius's chambers when he ran into the pair of guards. He was about to walk past them when the taller one questioned him.

"Sire, His Majesty has sent us to find your manservant, Merlin. Do you know where he is?"

Slightly confused, Arthur nodded. "I believe he is in his room in Gaius's quarters. Why does my father need him?"

"Thank you, sire. There is an embassy from Deira in Camelot, and they have requested to see the boy." The guard hesitated, and then obviously deciding that the Prince could know more, he continued "King Alyn believes Merlin to be his nephew, and therefore the heir to the throne of Deira."

Arthur was shocked, to say the least. Merlin, his Merlin, was a Prince? It was unbelievable. His former servant was the least Prince-like person he knew.

"We'll just be going then, sire?" the guard half-asked, half-stated. "Perhaps you could meet us in the throne room."

Arthur nodded, still lost in thought, and began walking slowly towards the throne room. His guilt had almost doubled since before; something he hadn't thought was possible. Before, he had only regretted his actions, but now he knew that what he had done was redundant. Merlin was going to leave Camelot anyway. All Arthur had done was made it hurt more – for the both of them.

Arthur hoped Merlin would give him a chance to apologise, even though he was almost positive it wouldn't happen. And even if it did, Merlin would never forgive him. Arthur knew he didn't deserve his former servant's forgiveness. This was something he'd have to live with his whole life.

Breaking himself out of his thoughts, Arthur realised he had walked past the throne room. Quickly checking to see if anyone was near (it wouldn't do for the Prince of Camelot to be seen getting lost in his own castle) he turned around and walked back.

Once he had reached the throne room doors he schooled his face into his most princely expression and entered.

* * *

"Merlin? Yes, I believe he's up in his room. I'll just go fetch him for you now." Gaius's voice floated up the stairs into Merlin's room, where the young warlock was preparing to take his own life.

_Crap_, he though, putting the dagger on the desk and hiding the letter under a book. No-one could find out about Merlin's plan until he was dead. They'd try to _save_ him, which would only lead to more pain for everyone. So he'd have to postpone it for a while.

_Only for tonight, _he thought,_ and then tomorrow it will all be over._

"Merlin?" asked Gaius, his head poking through the door "You've been summoned to the throne room. What on earth did you do?"

Merlin couldn't believe it. Arthur had actually gone to the trouble of having his father get rid of Merlin. Oh well, it wouldn't matter tomorrow. However, Merlin would rather Gaius not know yet, so he simply replied "No idea" as he descended the stairs into the main room.

* * *

Merlin was extremely confused. He had expected Uther, and perhaps Arthur. He had _not_ expected his mother and what looked like an embassy.

Uther gestured for one of the men in the embassy to speak. The better-dressed of the two stepped forward. He was a small man, and despite his clothing held himself like a commoner. His face was lined and his hair greying, but his eyes held great wisdom. As he began to speak, Merlin noted that he had one of those voices that made people listen.

"I am Matthias, personal advisor to King Alyn of Deira. His Majesty has sent me to inform you that you are his nephew, and therefore his heir, and to escort you and your mother back to Deira."

"What?" yelled Merlin, more shocked than he'd ever been in his life. "Mother? Is it true?" he asked, turning to the woman. When she nodded, he continued. "Why did you never tell me?" he demanded. "Why did nobody ever tell me the truth?"

"I only wanted to protect you Merlin. I'm sorry," apologised Hunith softly.

Merlin opened his mouth to reply, before quickly closing it again. And then, ignoring all the courtly etiquette Arthur had drilled into him, he turned on his heel and strode out of the room. Hunith muttered a quick apology to King Uther and Matthias before following her son.

Mother and son walked quickly through the castle, the latter unaware of the former's presence. Eventually they reached Merlin's room in Gaius's chambers, and it was only then that Merlin realised that his mother had followed him. Before he could speak, though, Hunith started talking.

"I'm sorry, Merlin. I never meant for you to find out. I put that part of my life behind me many years ago. It hurt too much, and it would have put you in far too much danger if you had known. But I can explain it to you know if you would like?"

Not trusting himself to speak without yelling or crying, Merlin simply nodded stiffly and sat down on his bed.

"Okay," said Hunith, sitting down on the other end of the bed and beginning her tale.

"I was born in the kingdom of Deira as the firstborn and only daughter of King Olyvn. I had one younger brother, Alyn, who is now King. My father was rather strict, as both a King and a father. We argued many times from when I was old enough to form my own opinions until my twentieth birthday.

"My father decided that, being twenty, I should be married. He chose a Duke ten years in my senior and organised the wedding for a month after my birthday. I refused and took revenge by publically defacing my father's name. After that he had no choice but to banish me for life.

"I was left at the border with supplies for two weeks and told not to come back upon pain of death. I travelled for several days through Cendred's kingdom and into Uther's. I was considering seeking refuge with Uther in Camelot, but before I got there I me someone.

"Your father," she said, looking straight at Merlin.

"My… father?" asked her son.

"Yes, his name was Balinor. He was fleeing Camelot during the Great Purge, and we literally ran into one another on the road. And then everything else just… happened. We fell in love, settled in Ealdor, and then I found out that I was expecting you. We prepared to get married and everything was perfect. But then Uther's men came. They had been hunting Balinor since he left Camelot, and had finally found out where he was. Luckily, we got a tip-off from a traveller, but Balinor had to leave. I haven't seen him since."

Tears were rolling down the Hunith's cheeks as she thought of her lost love. Merlin moved to sit next to her and wrapped his arms around his mother. Once she had calmed down enough and Merlin had recovered from his shock he asked the first question that came to mind.

"So why am I the only heir? Didn't your brother have children?"

"No, he is unable to. Shortly after I was banished he was captured by bandits and received and injury that caused him to be unable to be with a woman in that way. I would have thought that he'd adopt, but it seems that the Deiran nobles are too strong. Only a blood heir will be able to keep them under control. That means you."

"What happens now?" asked the warlock, already knowing the answer.

"We go to Deira. Alyn has pardoned me, and you need to meet your Uncle and begin training to be a Prince. You should probably start packing," replied Hunith, standing up and kissing her son on the top of his head. "I'll be just downstairs, okay?"

"Um… Just one more question, Mother," said Merlin.

"Yes?" replied Hunith, turning around from where she was standing in the doorway.

"My father… Was he… magical?" Merlin asked.

"Yes," replied his mother, "he was a Dragonlord. He had the power to tame dragons. He knew a small amount of healing magic as well, but his power was nowhere near yours. He would have been very proud of you."

Merlin smiled slightly, happy to finally know the truth about his father. But as he watched his mother descend the stairs, he dropped his head into his hands. He was exhausted – it had been such a long day. And he still couldn't believe he was a Prince. Him! He couldn't even be a servant properly, let alone a Prince or a King.

Thinking about Princes made him think of Arthur (although, Merlin admitted, everything made him think of Arthur these days). He remembered the horrible morning he'd had and his pan. He probably didn't have to go through with it to please his former master. He could just leave Camelot and never see Arthur again.

Making his decision, Merlin picked up the dagger and slipped it back into the sheath in his belt. He grabbed his small bag from under the bed and stuffed his change of clothes into it, along with the papers that cluttered up his desk. As he closed his bag over the magic book from Gaius and descended the stairs, Merlin hoped he wouldn't have to hide his magic in his new home. If that was the case, he might actually be able to be happy again.

Once he was in the main room he saw his mother talking quietly to Gaius and approached them.

"I'm ready," he said, smiling hesitantly at the two of them. Hunith smiled back and moved away to let Merlin and Gaius say goodbye.

"I'm going to miss you, Gaius," said Merlin, trying to keep his voice steady and the tears from his cheeks.

"You too, Merlin," replied the physician. "But I will come and visit as soon as you are settled in."

Merlin nodded, not trusting himself to speak, and the older man continued. "You will make a wonderful King, Merlin. For exactly the same reasons why you make a terrible servant," said Gaius with a smile on his face. "I'm so proud of you, my boy."

"Thanks," he muttered, hugging his guardian and only letting go when his mother said quietly.

"Time to go, Merlin."

"Bye" he said to Gaius, drawing the back of his hand across his eyes to get rid of the tears. Merlin followed his mother back to the throne room where Matthias and Uther were talking, and Arthur and the guards were standing in stony silence.

"Your Majesty," said Hunith, announcing their presence, "We're ready to leave now."

Uther broke off from his conversation with Matthias, "Very well. I wish you a safe and happy journey home, and hope that Deira and Camelot's relationship will continue to improve."

"As do we, Your Majesty," replied Matthias, bowing. "We thank you for your hospitality, and wish you a successful year."

Hunith, Merlin and the Deiran guard bowed, and then the four of them left the throne room and Camelot.

* * *

As he watched the huge wooden doors close behind Merlin, Arthur realised that this was his last chance. Merlin was leaving Camelot _now_, and there was no way Arthur would let him go without an apology – or a goodbye. Merlin had served him for well over a year now, and through all the danger they had shared, they had become friends.

And Arthur knew that no matter what had happened today, and no matter _what_ his real feelings were, he should respect that friendship and give Merlin the closure he deserved. And with that in mind, Arthur turned to his father and asked "May I please be excused, father?"

"No, I have a few things I wish to discuss with you about our relationship with Deira. I predict it will be very important in the near future, so your understanding is essential," replied the King.

"Could you please put that off for about half an hour? I need to say goodbye to Merlin," said Arthur.

"Why would you need to say goodbye to him? He is only a servant," said Uther, ignorant as usual. Arthur felt his temper rising but still managed to reply calmly. Well, relatively calmly.

"In case you haven't noticed,_ father_, Merlin is a Prince now. And even if he wasn't, he's still a person and my friend! I should at least give him the courtesy of a proper goodbye!"

Uther looked angry, and Arthur felt the tension in the room rising. The treatment of servants was something the two royals frequently disagreed on. And with the Pendragon temper, these disagreements could usually be heard from the lower town. They also usually took over an hour to resolve, and Arthur didn't have that time today. Hell, Merlin could almost be out of Camelot by now!

The King opened his mouth to begin yelling at his son, but Arthur interrupted him before he could start. "I don't have time to argue with you today, father. I'll be back here in half an hour to discuss the situation with Deira."

And with that he turned on his heel and strode quickly out of the throne room.

A few minutes later, Arthur reached the courtyard and saw Merlin and his mother standing on the other side of it. Neither of them had seen him coming, so Arthur waited until he was about ten metres away before calling out.

"Merlin!"

The younger man span around quickly, surprise on his face. When he saw who had spoken, however, his face went strangely neutral. Approaching his ex-servant, Arthur asked quietly. "Can I speak to you? Alone?"

Merlin said nothing, but shrugged and allowed Arthur to lead him a small distance away.

"Look, Merlin. About this morning, well, I-" began Arthur

"It's okay, Your Highness," interrupted Merlin quietly, refusing the familiarity the two men had become accustomed to using. "You won't have to put up with me anymore. Goodbye." Merlin began walking back to where his mother was waiting with Matthias, the guards and the horses.

"Wait, Merlin," Arthur called him back. "I just wanted to say, I'm s-"

Again, Merlin interrupted him. "Don't. Just forget about it, forget about me. It'll make it all easier."

This time Merlin made it back to the group. Arthur remained standing in the middle of the courtyard, watching his love leave him.

And as Merlin finally turned a corner out of sight, Arthur let himself break. Not caring who was watching, he fell to his knees and tears began rolling down his cheeks.

Staring at the spot where he'd last seen Merlin, the heartbroken Prince whispered fiercely. "I'll never forget you, Merlin. I-"

"I love you."

**Thank you to everyone for your wonderful reviews!! Since I succumbed to your pleading and updated now, there will be a bit of a wait until the next chapter... Many reasons for that, including the fact that it's not written yet, it's Fastnacht (carnival) this week in Germany, and my friend's coming over for the weeked. She's the one i'm writing this for, but we're going to be watching Merlin and discussing ff, not writing. But the chapter will come! I know what's going to happen for the rest of the story, which really helps. Reviews also help… (hint hint). Anyway, hope you liked it!**


	4. Chapter 3: Truths

**Chapter 3: Truths**

"Come on, Merlin, you know this!" said Hunith, getting rather frustrated. For the last few weeks since they had arrived in Deira, she and Matthias had been tutoring Merlin in the things he would need to know to be King. Matthias taught the warlock history, politics and economics, while Hunith took care of diplomacy, etiquette and Latin. Her son was also studying the fighting arts with one of the knights, and although he would never be near the standard of Prince Arthur, he was definitely improving.

Upon hearing that his nephew was a warlock, the King had ordered that Merlin also be taught sorcery. Hunith knew that her son knew far more that any of the sorcerers here, and so was always bored in those lessons. In most of his other classes, though, he was attentive and determined to learn.

But today was different. All morning Hunith had been testing her son on the proper greetings required for different nobles in different situations. It was a complicated subject, but this was just supposed to be a review lesson. Yesterday, Merlin had been perfect, but today he seemed to have no idea.

"Are you sure you don't need a bit of time off, Merlin?" she asked softly, laying her hand on her son's arm. "You've not had a break for days."

"I'm fine, mother," replied Merlin, shaking her hand off.

"I don't think you are," she said. In truth, Hunith had been sensing something strange about Merlin for days. He had been very quiet, and when he wasn't concentrating on his lessons his face fell into a depressed expression.

"I said I'm fine, Mother. But I might take that break now," he said, standing up to leave.

"Okay, I'll let you have a few hours rest, but then we need to talk," said Hunith, realising she wasn't going to get anything out of Merlin. As her son left Hunith wondered what was wrong. She had originally thought that he was just missing his friends in Camelot, but now she wasn't so sure. Something, perhaps a mother's instinct, told her that Merlin's problem was much more serious and had been going on much longer. She only hoped that whatever it was, her son didn't do anything stupid because of it.

* * *

It was getting harder and harder for Merlin to keep everything together. Back in Camelot he'd only managed because of the time he got to spend with Arthur. Here, he struggled to find a reason to want to live. He had tried to keep going for his mother, his uncle and all the other people who were depending on him, and he could probably stay alive like that, but to live he needed Arthur.

It wasn't good for him to feel this strongly about _anybody_, but Merlin couldn't help it; Arthur was addictive. He needed the other man like he needed air to breathe, and the separation was destroying him. Even worse, Merlin knew that that separation would never end. Arthur would have forgotten about him by now.

The conflict in his mind wasn't helping either. He knew he had a duty to become King and rule Deira, but all he wanted to do was go to sleep and never wake up again.

Suddenly feeling very tired, Merlin fell into his bed, not even bothering to get under the covers. As he closed his eyes he wished, just like every night for the past few weeks, that he wouldn't wake up again.

* * *

It was late afternoon by the time Hunith finally went in to see Merlin. She had looked in a few hours before, but seeing her son sleeping peacefully she had quickly left. A bit of sleep would do him good. But Merlin also needed to eat, and she wanted to get this over with before dinner.

She walked over to her son's bed to wake him up, but then she noticed the mess of papers on his desk. Thinking there might be some hint to the reason for her son's condition there, and realising it would be easier and more effective than talking to Merlin, she moved over and started rummaging through the mess.

About halfway through, between an essay on politics and a copied diagram of some herbs, she found a letter addressed to her and Gaius. As she read it through, her eyes widened and tears formed in them.

Merlin, her little boy, had wanted to die? And probably still did if his behaviour was anything to go by. And it was all Arthur's fault. How dare that boy not realise what Merlin was feeling? It didn't matter that he was a Prince – he had acted like Merlin's friend and then betrayed him.

If Hunith had her way, Arthur would never see, never hurt, her son again, but she was wise enough to realise that he was the only one who could help Merlin right now. She sat down at the desk, pulled out a piece of parchment and began penning a letter to the Prince of Camelot.

_To Arthur Pendragon, Crown Prince of Camelot,_

_After what you did to Merlin, I would rather that you never see him again but unfortunately you are essential to his recovery. You see, shortly after the argument between you and Merlin, my son attempted to kill himself. He did not succeed and I do not believe he has tried since, but it is only a matter of time. You will come to Deira immediately and remain here until Merlin is fully recovered. Your father will be receiving a different reason for you to travel, as I fear he would not let you if he knew the truth._

_Yours Sincerely_

_Hunith, Princess Royal of Deira._

Hunith knew that she would have to run the visit by her brother and send an official invitation to Camelot, but this letter would be going straight to Arthur. She wouldn't let this destroy her son.

* * *

One week later, Arthur got the letter. For the past month he'd been missing Merlin more than he'd ever thought was possible. It wasn't as a servant – Arthur would be the first to admit Merlin was the worst manservant in history – but as a friend, and the possibility of something more.

Arthur had never realised how much he needed Merlin until the other man was gone. He'd though it would be easier if Merlin was not around him all the time, but having experienced the reality he knew he was wrong. Merlin's absence was unbelievably painful, and Arthur knew he would give up almost everything just to have his former servant back in his life.

What made the pain even worse, if that was possible, was the knowledge that his actions had hurt Merlin as well. The pain in the younger man's eyes had been obvious, but Arthur hadn't even _considered_ that Merlin would attempt suicide until he'd received the letter from Hunith.

He would go, of course, to Deira and stay with Merlin until he was happy again. And maybe, while he was there, he'd find the courage to tell Merlin _why_ he'd done what he had. If Merlin knew the truth, maybe he'd realise what a _stupid_ idea dying was. And if he was disgusted by Arthur, then the Prince could just leave and everything would be okay.

Arthur would go with or without his father's permission, but it would be an awful lot simpler if he had it. He hoped Hunith had come up with a good reason to travel, but that might not be enough. Uther had been even more unreasonable than normal lately, particularly in regards to Merlin. Arthur remembered the conversation he'd had with his father directly after Merlin had left Camelot.

_Arthur still had tears on his face when he entered the throne room, but he didn't care. Uther, however, did. When he saw his son he started yelling._

"_What have I told you, Arthur? No man is worth your tears!"_

"_You're wrong, father. Losing a friend as good as Merlin is certainly worth my tears," replied Arthur._

_Uther grew even more angry at that comment, "He is a servant, Arthur, not a friend! You are a Prince and having friends is dangerous. If you put too much trust in a person they will betray you and destroy Camelot! You need advisors, servants and subjects. Nothing more."_

_At first Arthur was angry, but then his expression grew into one of disgusted understanding. "So because you got betrayed once, you're taking it out on me and forbidding me from being happy?"_

"_I'm _trying _to stop you from making the same mistakes I did. Servants are not to be trusted," lectured Uther._

"_He's a Prince, not a servant," replied Arthur._

"_Then there's even less reason to trust him," retorted Uther._

"_So who should I trust, then?" asked Arthur sarcastically, "Oh, don't answer that, I know already. Nobody. Well I'm not going to listen to you on this one. I want to be a King that the people can trust, but how can I do that if I refuse to trust in return?"_

_Uther was silent at that, it was obvious he had no answer._

"_I don't want to turn into a merciless tyrant, father. Not like you," finished Arthur._

_At this Uther rose from the throne and yelled, "How dare you say that? I have brought peace and prosperity to Camelot!"_

_Arthur stepped forward and also began yelling, "Your mistrust of magic has turned into mistrust of everything! You condemn people without trials and refuse to see sense even when the evidence is right in front of you!"_

_He lowered his voice for the next bit, a saddened expression creeping onto his face, "I used to want to be thee sort of King you were, but something's changed. I don't know if it's you or me, but I don't want that anymore."_

_Son stared at father, and father at son, the silence only broken when Uther looked away and said, "I can't talk to you now. You are dismissed."_

That had been a month ago and Arthur had not had a proper conversation with his father since. They had spoken, of course, about strategy and politics and the like, but there had always been other advisors in the room.

So unless Hunith had come up with a _very_ good reason, Arthur was going to had to do a lot of grovelling, or at least apologise, to be allowed to go. He was just wondering how to best bring up the topic with his father when there was a knock on his door and a guard entered.

"You Highness?" he asked, "His Majesty has summoned you to the throne room."

Hopefully this was about visiting Deira, because Arthur really didn't want to discuss anything else with his father right now.

* * *

"I have received a letter from King Alyn of Deira, inviting the two of you to stay with him for the next month," said Uther to his son and his ward.

"I am aware that both of you were close to Alyn's nephew, Merlin. Morgana, you will spend time with him in the hope that he will to consent to a marriage in the future. Such an alliance between Deira and Camelot will be a great asset in the future.

"Arthur, you are to protect the Lady Morgana on her journey and while she is in Deira. You are also to begin discussing and alliance between Camelot and Deira. I will give you the information on the details before you leave. Is that clear?"

"Yes father," replied Arthur, keeping his face neutral but secretly ecstatic that he wouldn't have to beg his father to be allowed to go. He noticed Morgana opening her mouth to argue with Uther, but he quickly should his head at her and mouthed 'I'll explain later'.

Morgana appeared to get the idea, because she nodded her consent to the King before leaving the throne room with Arthur. As soon as they were in an empty part of the hallway she stopped and turned to Arthur.

"Well? Are you going to explain?" she demanded.

Arthur simply kept walking, calling back over his shoulder, "I'll explain when we're back in my rooms. It's not something I want to discuss where other people can hear."

Morgana managed to rein in her curiosity until they both reached Arthur's chambers, but then she exploded. "So? Why do I have to marry Merlin?"

"You don't," replied Arthur, "but I need to get to Deira and this is the only way Father is going to let me go."

"What? Missing Merlin already? I didn't realise you two were that close," asked Morgana in a teasing manner.

"We're a lot closer than you think, Morgana, but that's not the main reason I need to go. I received this letter from Hunith yesterday, and I have to help Merlin," Arthur said as he handed the letter to his half sister.

He watched as her expression turned from shock to sadness to anger, quite obviously at Arthur. "Merlin tried to kill himself? Because of you? You've got an awful lot of explaining to do, Arthur Pendragon," she said in a very dangerous tone.

Arthur looked down at his knees, the guilt he was feeling emanating from him like a cloud. Eventually he gathered himself together, raised his eyes to Morgana and began his tale. He started with his feelings, having long ago realised that Merlin and Merlin's happiness were far more important than his pride and reputation. But there was still no need to overdo it, so once Morgana got the idea he moved onto the morning he'd fired Merlin.

Morgana's eyes were dangerously narrow by the time Arthur had finished that part, and not for the first time the Prince was genuinely scared of his half sister. Despite not being a Pendragon by blood, Morgana shared the same temper as Arthur and Uther, and it was obvious that she was about to unleash it.

And although Arthur knew he probably deserved to be yelled at, he wasn't quite brave enough to face it (not that he'd admit that to anyone, especially Morgana). So he quickly said, "I did apologise, though. I'm not a complete prat anymore," and went on to explain the last time his had seen his former servant.

The pain of recalling that experience was so great that Arthur couldn't look his half sister in the eye any longer, nor stop the tears from rolling town his face. He heard Morgan's footsteps, and as he expected them to be leaving the room in disgust, he was very surprised when he felt the girl sit down next to him and pull him into a hug. The two of them hadn't hugged since Arthur had woken Morgana up after her first nightmare, fourteen years ago.

"I won't pretend that you weren't a complete arse, Arthur Pendragon," said the King's Ward, "but you've got a good heart and we can fix this. We will save Merlin."

"Yes," replied the Prince, "we will."

**I am so incredibly sorry for the long lack of update. This chapter gave me a bit of trouble, and I scrapped the first draft and started again. Although it has been ready in my excercise book for about a week, and I've just been to lazy to type it up (or too busy reading fanfiction and chatting to blackteaplease...). But hopefully it was worth it! I hope you liked Arthur - I tried to keep him in character, but still show how he's changed through the story. **

**The next chapter will be good - you will finally get to see Merlin and Arthur interacting (they've had what, two scenes together?). But it will probably take another three or so weeks for me to write, depending on how busy I am an how much inspiration I get... **

**So, please review and let me know what you thought!!**


	5. Chapter 4: Confessions

**Chapter 4: Confessions**

As he stood in the throne room waiting for their mysterious guest to arrive, Merlin wondered if he would finally be told what was happening. His mother had been acting strangely all week – tiptoeing around Merlin's feelings and giving him everything he could possible need or want. It was almost as though she knew, but if that was the case she would have confronted him by now.

Nevertheless, Merlin was still confused. Particularly as he had been informed last night that two important guests would be arriving today and he had to be in the throne room by midday, but no one had told him who. It was twenty minutes past now, and the herald eventually begun playing his trumpet. It was obviously royalty who was arriving, as only royalty received a special personal tune.

The notes sounded eerily familiar, and then it hit Merlin.

Arthur.

Arthur was here in Deira. Once Merlin realised that, the rest of the pieces just fell into piece.

His mother did know.

And she knew _everything_.

And she'd invited Arthur here.

Fuck.

Merlin was about to leave, knowing that he couldn't face the other Prince without breaking down, when the huge wooden doors and Arthur and Morgana entered the room.

Merlin couldn't help it; he met Arthur's eyes. He was surprised to see guilt in them, and wondered what Arthur had to feel guilty about. Maybe, just _maybe_, Arthur missed him as much as he missed Arthur and thought it was his fault that Merlin had left.

He quickly broke the eye contact when his uncle started to speak, choosing instead to focus all his attention on the King.

"Welcome to Deira, Your Highness, My Lady. I hope your stay will be an enjoyable and productive one," said Alyn in a formal but pleasant tone, though his voice was still very weak.

"We thank you for your invitation, Your Majesty. It is always good to have the opportunity to improve our relationship," replied Arthur, matching the King's tone perfectly.

Alyn smiled, obviously pleased with Arthur, and continued, "Perhaps Merlin can show you around the castle, and the three of you can get reacquainted?" he said, looking at Merlin questioningly.

"Of course, Uncle," replied Merlin, although he really didn't want to. He'd learnt early on in his stay that it was not a good idea to disobey an order from the King, and although phrased nicely, that was most definitely an order.

Merlin gestured for Arthur and Morgana to follow him out of the throne room, and they were barely out of sight of the doors when the girl swept him into a huge hug.

"It's so good to see you, Merlin! How have you been? I've been missing you, and so has Gwen. She's here too, but she's taking my bags to my room. Arthur had to bring one of the castle servants because he's missed you too much to get a new one," she babbled all in one breath.

Merlin smiled slightly at his friend, though he carefully ignored the bit about Arthur. "It's good to see you too, Morgana," he said, "How about I show you around the castle now?" He led her down the hallway, Arthur following a few metres behind them.

"Don't I get a hug, _Mer_lin?" he asked in the tone that always made Merlin's knees collapse and his heart try of his chest and all those other romantic clichés. This time, however, he froze. He refused to turn around, knowing that if it he did he would cry, yell or kiss the hell out of Arthur. Not particularly liking any of those choices, he simply said in a carefully controlled voice, "No," and kept walking.

Not wanting to be alone with Arthur, he showed the Prince to his room first. However, being the pig-headed prat that he was, Arthur chose to continue walking behind Merlin and Morgana as the girl filled Merlin in on all the news about Camelot.

It only got worse when they arrived at Morgana's room. Gwen was already there unpacking her lady's clothes, and was just as excited to see Merlin as Morgana had been. The two girls were speaking simultaneously, and Merlin was smiling and making the occasional agreeing noise. However, even with this distraction, he could still feel Arthur's eyes burning into him.

As he felt the blush creep onto his cheeks, Merlin wished he could tell Arthur to leave and stop making him feel uncomfortable, but he knew that he couldn't. That would involve admitting that Arthur made him uncomfortable, but more importantly, it meant he would have to talk to Arthur.

Eventually Morgana and Gwen slowed down their talking and began to ask Merlin questions, but it took at least 10 more minuted before they allowed him time to answer. The three of them chatted for hours about Merlin's lessons, his new family, and what had been happening to everyone in Camelot. The subject of Arthur and his problems with his father came up a few times, but Merlin always changed the topic very quickly. So quickly, in fact, that both girls noticed and gave Merlin concerned looks, which he blatantly ignored.

It was obvious that both Morgana and Gwen knew something about what had happened, but Merlin had no idea how much. Did they just know about Arthur firing him, or did they know about what Merlin had tried to do? They couldn't know the truth about his feelings, because then Arthur would know too, and he wouldn't want to be anywhere near Merlin.

At about half past five, the two girls ushered Merlin and Arthur out of the room, stating that they needed to get ready for dinner. Merlin wasn't sure why they needed a whole hour, but something told him it would be sager just to leave. He walked Arthur back to his chambers, and as he turned to leave he informed Arthur; "Dinner is at half past six. I'll send someone to escort you there at twenty past."

He walked quickly down the hallway, letting out a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding. His relief didn't last long though, as he heard Arthur say in his annoying tone, "_Mer_lin."

Merlin stopped walking, but did not turn around. He heard Arthur's footsteps approaching and the Prince's hot breath on the back of his neck. A hand landed firmly on his shoulder, turning him around, and its pair grasped his other shoulder. Merlin kept his eyes on the ground, not wanting to look the owner of those hands in the face.

He had no choice, though, when a soft hand lifted his chin up and caressed it softly. Merlin cursed his sensitive anatomy for responding to such a simple action, and hoped that Arthur wouldn't notice. It would be incredibly embarrassing, and Merlin didn't think he could cope with the rejection that would inevitably follow.

"We need to talk, Merlin," said the Prince quietly, "I said some things to you that were not very nice, and you deserve to know why. And-" Arthur paused, and Merlin saw him swallow and blink something out of his eyes "-if the reasons why make you uncomfortable with being around me, then I can leave, but I just though you should know."

Merlin avoided Arthur's eyes as he answered, "Why didn't you just write a letter? You didn't need to come all the way here."

"Yes I did," said Arthur, leading Merlin gently into the room, "I had to make sure you didn't try and kill yourself again. And work out why the hell you would do something so stupid in the first place!"

"Fuck" whispered Merlin, realising that Arthur knew, and then he tried to run out of the room. Arthur's hand, however, was still firmly gripping his shoulder and prevented him from running.

"Why did you do it, Merlin?" yelled Arthur, shaking the smaller man, "Why did you want to die? Why can't you bloody realise how perfect you are?"

Something in Merlin snapped at that, and he let himself go. He'd had enough of secrets and keeping safe, and if this destroyed him he really didn't care.

"Perfect? I'm not perfect! I'm a fucking failure, you said so yourself. I can't even be a servant properly, let alone a Prince. I don't deserve to live, even if I wanted to!" Merlin had broken from Arthur's grip, and he could feel his magic bubbling, about to explode from within him.

"I don't want to keep going. It hurts too much to live."

"Merlin," whispered Arthur in a pained voice, tears rolling down his face.

Merlin ignored that, but lowered his voice before continuing. "I can't spend all day with someone I love and be unable to touch them. I can't keep hiding who I really am, and everything that makes me, me, from him. It hurts too much to be around him every day, but it's even worse when I can't be with him at all."

He looked straight into Arthur's eyes, "I tried to kill myself because I love you and I couldn't live knowing you'll never love me back."

The two men looked each other in the eyes for a few seconds, before Arthur started laughing.

* * *

Arthur laughed. It was a laugh of relief and complete and utter joy. He simply couldn't believe it. Merlin loved him. Merlin _loved_ him. _Merlin _loved _him_. He was about to do a happy dance when he noticed the expression on Merlin's face.

The younger man was crying, and looked completely destroyed. He was looking at the ground and saying, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," over and over again. It occurred to Arthur that maybe Merlin had taken his laughter in the wrong way, and thought that Arthur was laughing _at_ Merlin.

"Merlin," he said quietly, lifting his love's chin up again, "I think you misunderstood me." The younger man looked up, a confused expression on his face. "I'm not angry, or disgusted, or anything like that. I'm simply very, very happy."

"You see, the reason I said those things to you, the reason I sent you away, was because I thought it would hurt less if you weren't there. I was wrong, of course, nothing could be better without you. I love you, Merlin, and knowing you love me back makes me happier that I ever thought I'd be."

Merlin's face went from shocked, to ecstatic, to confused. "But why?" he questioned, "Why would you love me? I'm nothing."

Arthur cursed Merlin's love self esteem, and blamed himself for making it worse. "You're not nothing, Merlin, you're amazing. You're the only true friend I've ever had, the only person who has enough guts of stand up to me when I'm wrong. You know how to make me laugh and smile. And you save my life a few times. I'm the one who doesn't deserve you, Merlin, not the other way round."

"Bit more than a few times," muttered Merlin, but he looked at Arthur with love in his eyes and the widest smile he'd ever worn on his face.

"What did you just say?" asked Arthur.

"I said, it was a bit more than a few times, that I've saver you life, I mean," replied Merlin.

"What do you mean? There was that witch with the knife, and the poison you drank, but what else?"

Merlin sighed, obviously resigning himself to something. "I've save your life so many times I've lost count. Either that or your father's life. You see, I-" here, he hesitated.

"Yes?" asked Arthur. He sensed that Merlin was about to tell him what he'd been hiding since they met. Arthur had always known that there was _something_ strange about Merlin, but he'd never worked out what it was. However, it seemed he was about to find out.

"I- I'm a sorcerer. I can do magic," said Merlin.

To say Arthur was shocked was an understatement. He'd never considered that Merlin could be magical, or that he could be stupid enough to come to Camelot if that was the case. It did make sense though, when Arthur thought about it. It cleared up a lot of things about Merlin that didn't quite add up.

Merlin was still talking, 'I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Arthur. I wanted to, but then it wasn't the right time, or I got to scared, or-"

"It's okay, Merlin," interrupted Arthur, "I've known you were hiding something for a long time. I just never worked out what it was. I'm not angry."

"Really?" asked Merlin, biting his lip and looking exceedingly cute to Arthur.

"Really," replied Arthur, approaching Merlin and placing one hand on the side of the warlock's face."I could never be angry at you, Merlin. I love you. Although I don't think I should tell my father about the magic."

"Probably not," whispered Merlin as he stepped forward to meet Arthur chest to chest. "We probably shouldn't tell him about this either." And he moved his lips forward to meet Arthur's in a soft, perfect, kiss.

* * *

Merlin and Arthur made it to the dining hall at about quarter to sever, fifteen minutes late. They had been spending the time confessing their love (again), experimenting with Merlin's magic, and helping Arthur change clothes. The last had been the one that had made them late – Merlin had become rather distracted while removing Arthur's trousers.

When the two of them entered, they found Alyn, Hunith and Morgana had already finished the appetiser and had moved onto the entrée.

"Sorry we are late, Your Majesty," said Merlin, not looking particularly sorry at all.

King Alyn looked at the two boys, noting their flushed cheeks, their physical closeness and the smile on his nephew's face, and said, "Don't worry about it. But next time, make sure you are on time."

"Yes, sire," replied Merlin, leading Arthur to their seats, Merlin's to the right of the King, and Arthur to his right. The two boys linked hands under the table and gave each other loving glances. Neither of them noticed the knowing smiles on the faces of their fellow diners; they were far too in love.

**This is not the end! It may be the only chapter so far that hasn't had a cliff hanger, but there will be more! I've got about 3-4 more chaps planned, depending on how everything turns out. What I've written of the next chapter contains smut, but I may not post it on this account (my mum occasionally checks it!). If I don't post it, it will go up on my shared account with blackteaplease (bucketoftea). **

**I also apologise for the lateness of this update – I had this chapter hand written about 3 weeks ago, but I've honestly had no time to sit down and type it up! The next chapter will probably take a while, as I started but am not entirely happy with it…**

**Anyway, I hope you liked it! Please review and I'll get working on the new chapter straight away!!**

**Also, before I forget, please go and read SOS: Save Our Ship, which is on my profile. It's a satire of the stories with really strange ships, and is very funny! Also, on my shared profile (bucketoftea) please go and read Do It With Morgana, which is vaguely ridiculous, but also very funny! Both were co written with blackteaplease, so go and check out her stories to! (She's got an awesome Merlin/Arthur one, and then some others for anime which are pretty good too!)**


	6. Chapter 5: Separation

**Chapter 5: Separation**

Arthur still wasn't used to waking up next to Merlin. The other man was still asleep, his naked back facing Arthur. He was gorgeous, though Arthur as he stared at his lover. The pale skin and soft black hair were the definition of beauty, no matter how much Merlin might argue.

Arthur slipped his arm around Merlin's waist and placed soft kisses up the back of his neck. It was his favourite way of waking Merlin up: the other Prince was always in the mood for love making after that. Merlin slowly rolled over as he woke up, and kissed Arthur softly on the lips.

"Morning, love," he said sleepily, and in Arthur's opinion, adorably. "How about you give me a proper wake up now?"

Arthur smiled, and shimmied down the bed until his face was level with Merlin's crotch. He breathed in the sweet, musky smell of his lover, and then extended his tongue and slowly licked a line up Merlin's cock. The other man became fully hard, and started moaning. Arthur alternated kisses, licks and sucking until Merlin climaxed and came in Arthur's mouth.

The Prince swallowed, wanting to taste as much of his lover as possible, and then moved up to kiss Merlin on the mouth.

"Thank you, Arthur," said Merlin, lowering his hand to Arthur's cock, "Do you want me to help you out now?"

"Yes, please Merlin! Please!" begged Arthur.

"I suppose I can," said Merlin, "After all, you were a _very_ good boy before." Merlin smiled seductively and kissed Arthur again, before starting to stroke his lover. Arthur moaned; he loved it when Merlin was being dominating. The feeling of losing control, but still knowing he was safe was freeing. He didn't have to worry about anything except making Merlin happy, which he definitely enjoyed.

"Merlin!" screamed Arthur loudly as his lover stroked him to a powerful climax. The two boys lay on the large bed, panting and holding hands. They were in Merlin's room, mostly as it wasn't right next to Morgana's, like Arthur's was. Although everyone in the castle knew about their relationship, Merlin and Arthur suspected Gwen and Morgana would get a little _too_ much enjoyment out of hearing their love making.

Merlin had several rooms connected together, and there was currently no-one staying in the rooms next door either. It was the perfect place for the two lovers, especially since the servants had worked out it was a good idea to knock _loudly_ before entering.

The month they had spent together had been bliss, but unfortunately Arthur had to leave today. The two had to be in the throne room at 11 o'clock for one last meeting about the alliance, and then they would have a few hours together before the party from Camelot had to depart.

The boys hadn't discussed their separation, hoping that if they didn't talk about, it wouldn't happen. Despite this, every kiss, every glance, carried the sadness and pain of the imminent separation.

Arthur really didn't want to leave. He'd only be able to get a letter from Merlin every two weeks, and that was nowhere near enough. He'd become so accustomed to spending almost every second of his time with Merlin, so going to one letter every two weeks was going to be impossible.

There was also the problem of what was waiting for him in Camelot. Arthur had left his father on bad terms, and h was experienced enough to realise that that tension wouldn't have gone away. Particularly with what had happened between him and Merlin over the last month.

On the matter of that relationship, Arthur still didn't know what to tell his father. He knew that keeping it a secret would be incredibly difficult, but he didn't even want to imagine his father's reaction.

He decided to see how his father was feeling, and then make a decision on whether or not to tell him. Perhaps, with the success of the alliance, Uther would be more tolerant. Arthur doubted it, but that didn't stop him from hoping.

The organisation of the alliance had gone very well for both Camelot and Deira. Arthur had proposed at the first meeting to overlook the different opinions on magic and not let that affect the other parts of the treaty. King Alyn had quickly agreed to that, after had had hinted he would revoke the bans on magic during his rule.

Agreements had been made about trade, free movement, and Arthur had also managed to get Alyn to agree on a defence treaty. He knew that Alyn was still hesitant about that, considering Deira was a peaceful nation and had very good relationships with most countries. Arthur hoped that part would hold, but he suspected Alyn had something up his sleeve, something he was going to reveal today at the meeting.

While Arthur had been pondering the future, Merlin had got out of bed and was walking around the room, getting their clothes ready for today. His time as Arthur's manservant had rubbed off on him, and he couldn't seem to stop cleaning up after his former master. Arthur didn't mind though, especially when Merlin forgot to get dressed.

His lover seemed to have noticed his brooding and cane over to comfort Arthur.

"What's wrong, darling?" he asked, sitting on the bed next to Arthur and caressing his lover's hand.

"I- I just don't want to lose you," replied Arthur.

"You will never lose me, Arthur. I will love you, and I will be here for you beyond the end of time."

"I know, Merlin, I feel exactly the same about you, but I don't know how I'll be able to cope without seeing you every day."

Merlin smiled an understanding and loving smile, and then replied, "I feel the same, Arthur, which is why I've brought you a present."

"A present?" asked the Camelot Prince, "How's that going to help?" In truth, he felt a little hurt that Merlin thought a present could replace him.

Merlin didn't answer, instead pulling out a small box and offering it to Arthur. The other man took it, and curiously lifted the lid.

Inside lay two carved wooden pendants, each hanging on a leather thong. Arthur carefully lifted one of them out; it was in the shape of a small bird, captured in flight.

"It's a Merlin," said Merlin quietly, "The other one is a lion, for the greatest king of all time."

Arthur looked up at his lover, "Thank you," he said sincerely, "But- but how is a piece of jewellery going to help? I mean, it's beautiful, but nothing can replace you."

"I should have known you wouldn't appreciate high art, you prat," said Merlin, a joking tone in his voice. Then his manner turned serious again, "They're not just pendants, Arthur, they're magic."

"Magic?" repeated Arthur.

"Yeah, magic. You know that thing I'm really good at?"

"I thought that was sex," replied Arthur flirtingly.

"That too," answered Merlin in the same tone. Then he went serious again. "So? Do you want to hear what sort of magic?"

Arthur nodded, sitting up a bit straighter in the bed.

"Well, it's a very basic communication charm. We can send feelings and emotions, stronger if we concentrate, but there should always be a connection. The book said that they work better the stronger our love is, so we might actually be about to send thoughts. We can test them out now, if you want. Yours is that one," he said, gesturing to the bird pendant Arthur was still holding.

The two boys slipped the pendants over their heads simultaneously, and then they both shivered as the magic worked. Arthur felt a sort of warm, happy, loving feeling coming from his chest, which felt incredibly similar to what he felt whenever he thought of Merlin.

"It's amazing! Thank you so much Merlin! I love you, I love you, I love you," said Arthur, repeating the last phrase over and over as he kissed his lover's face.

Merlin smiled back, capturing Arthur's mouth in his in a kiss that was more wonderful and more passionate that anything Arthur had ever experienced. He could feel both his and Merlin's emotions, and it was the most amazing thing he'd ever felt.

Both boys were panting heavily when they finally broke apart, and for several minutes they simply looked into each other's eyes and silently communicated their love.

"I wanted to make you one that sends though messages, but it takes over three months to make. I've already started it though, so we won't have to wait too much longer," breathed Merlin.

"You've done more than enough, Merlin," replied Arthur, leaning his head against his lover's. "Not that I don't want the thought pendants, but you should never feel that what you've done is too little. You are truly amazing."

Arthur never let a chance to compliment Merlin pass him by. The two of them had only briefly discussed Merlin's attempted suicide and his self-esteem problems, but Arthur knew that they were almost gone. Of course, that didn't stop him from reassuring Merlin every day that he was not only loved, but also needed and appreciated and wonderful. He was pretty sure Merlin knew what he was doing, but he was going to keep doing it for the rest of his life.

Merlin smiled back at him, and kissed him once more softly, before standing up and saying. "We should probably start getting ready now. My uncle is expecting us in half an hour, and I don't think either of us wants to appear naked before the court."

* * *

When Arthur was finally ready to leave for the throne room, (those trousers were _really_ distracting) Merlin jokingly offered Arthur his arm, which the other man took. They smiled lovingly at each other, and began walking. The sight of the two boys in such close proximity had become common in the Deiran castle, and thankfully everyone was tolerant of their love.

Even the giggling serving girls who had oohed and aahed over both Princes found their relationship adorable, and had taken to spying on the boys. After finding out about that, Merlin had heavily warded his doors, windows, and even the laundry chute.

The boys reached the throne room exactly as the clock began to chime eleven. The guards opened the huge wooden doors from the Princes, and herald announced their names. They released hands and waled individually forward to bow to the King.

King Alyn looked much better than he had two months ago when Merlin had first met him. Once he had realised that he had a much greater power than any other sorcerer in Deira, he had been working with the Court Physician to find at least a temporary cure for his uncle.

He had quickly found out that there was no permanent cure, but after dissecting the original curse, he had been able to slow down the symptoms, and help with the pain. The spells were exhausting and time consuming, but his uncle now had the strength to survive a few more years and teach Merlin _everything_ he needed to know about being King.

The spells had worked slowly at first, but now two weeks after the first costing, the King had enough strength to go riding, and his hair was back to its original dark brown, admittedly with a few grey streaks.

"Good Morning, Merlin, Prince Arthur," greeted the King. The throne room was full with advisors, nobles and servants, all who wanted to find out the contents of the treaty.

"Good Morning, uncle,", "Good Morning, Your Majesty," replied Merlin and Arthur respectively.

"I am very pleased with the outcome of this treaty, Prince Arthur. I'm sure it will be the start of a great alliance between our people."

"I too am certain of that, Your Majesty," replied Arthur.

Alyn nodded, and then his expression changed to one of concern, "However, I am not entirely happy with the defence treaty. I feel that a more binding element is required to ensure the agreements are respected."

Merlin watched as Arthur's face showed a hint of panic, before returning to the neutral, diplomatic mask he had been wearing previously. "What sort of binding element were you thinking of?"

"A marriage," replied Alyn.

Merlin felt Arthur's emotions through the pendant, which only strengthened his own identical ones. His uncle wouldn't really do this, would he? The King couldn't separate the two of them after such a short time, Merlin wouldn't allow it."

"A… marriage?" chocked out Arthur, trying and failing to hide his emotions.

"Yes, I think a marriage between the Princes of Camelot and Deira would strengthen the treaty exponentially."

The whole room grew silent at the shock of that announcement. A marriage between two Princes? Homosexuality was accepted in Deira, and still legal in Camelot, but for royalty, such a thing was unheard of. Of course, Merlin wasn't complaining, and by the look of it, neither was Arthur.

His lover turned to him and asked, "Well, Merlin? Do you want to marry me?"

"Do you even have to ask?" replied Merlin as he met Arthur's lips in a passionate kiss. They didn't stop until the King loudly cleared his throat and the two broke apart, embarrassed. The king was smiling, however, and the two boys still tightly held each other's hands.

"I will have the court scribe write the marriage into the treaty. It should be ready by the time you leave this afternoon. On other matters, I have been informed that I will be fit enough to travel in three months, so we can set a tentative signing date for perhaps the solstice? I am sure that will give Camelot enough time to prepare for a visit," informed Alyn.

"That will be excellent. I hope my father will be as happy with this treaty as I am," replied Arthur.

It occurred to Merlin that Uther would probably not be happy with the treaty, at least, not with the final element. He worried how Arthur would cope with that pressure and most likely disapproval from his father.

He felt a slightly worried, but confident feeling, and then realised it was coming from the pendant on his chest. Arthur would be all right; he couldn't be anything else. After all, he was the future King of Albion.

**There! New chap! Sorry it's late and all, but I was writing something else (a drabble challenge that I've stopped until this is finished!) and I was so busy that I had no time to type this up… Now, first of all I want to apologise for the amount of fluff in this chapter, but I'm sure you all enjoyed it! Second, the next chapter will be angst. Third, there are only two chaps left. I may be able to squeeze out a small, fluffy epilogue too, if I get lots of reviews! Four, I'm going to Spain today for two weeks (no comp, no internet), so there won't be an update for a while… Not sure if I'll have time to write there either… Five, REVIEW!**

**Also, thank you to LadyFromPoland for her wonderful reviews of every chapter, and blackteaplease, for getting me back into fanfic writing! (and giving some nice reviews too)**


	7. Chapter 6: Duties

**Chapter 6: Duties**

Merlin was busy 'patrolling' the Deiran borders when he received the first signal. He had been learning how the complex system of wards worked, and how to fix any breaks. Each individual ward was connected to a trusted sorcerer who monitored it constantly, and then to a binding stone that was locked away, with the only key held by the King.

The network was strong, and almost impenetrable (even for Merlin), but the Deirans also performed regular foot patrols on all borders. Merlin had been informed that he'd have to take part in one of them in a few weeks time.

Usually Merlin found this sort of work (learning about how magic worked) quite interesting, but right now he couldn't concentrate. The pendent on his chest was pulsing with all the emotions running through it. Stress, fear, doubt, anxiety, betrayal, pain, loneliness, anger, Merlin could feel all of them.

He didn't even want to think about how much Arthur was hurting right now, or why, all he wanted was to be with his lover and comfort him. He quickly reattached the ward thread he'd been working with, and devoted all his concentration on sending reassuring messages to Arthur. He poured all his love, comfort and confidence into the bond, and tried not to let too much of his worry seep through.

Merlin rose from his place on the floor of the meditation room he'd been working in, and quickly exited the room. He strode towards his uncle's chambers, knowing the man was working on paperwork there. He entered the room loudly, not caring that the door slammed and a few glass trinkets broke. Alyn looked up from his desk, a surprised and irritated look on his face.

"What is it, Merlin? Aren't you meant to be attending the wards now?" asked the King, not bothering to keep the irritation out of his voice.

"I have to go. He needs me," said Merlin, shaking with tension, stress and possibly a bit of impatience.

The King sighed, before replying calmly, "That won't be possible. You have duties here."

Merlin could feel a wave of anger swell up inside him at that comment. His magic bubbled too, not coping well with his stress or anger. He _needed_ Arthur, couldn't his uncle simply realise that? Arthur's suffering was his suffering, and even if he couldn't solve the problem for Arthur, he at least should be there to support his lover, and kiss it all better.

His anger clouded his thoughts, and he was unable to respond with anything intelligent or intelligible, a fact that his uncle took advantage of.

"Arthur is no longer a child; he can take care of his own problems. And you, Merlin," said the King sternly," are no longer a village boy, or even a manservant. You are a Prince, and as a Prince you have responsibilities, the greatest of which is to your kingdom. You have to learn that the good of the Kingdom is _always_ more important than your personal life."

Merlin had calmed down, but only in the sense that he had controlled his anger. He channelled all his fury and power, not into his magic, but into his voice, and answered his King with biting words/

"That may be so, but nothing, and I repeat, _nothing_, is more important than my destiny. And that is Arthur. One day he will be the greatest King the world has ever or will ever see. He will unite the kingdoms of Albion and bring peace to this land. _He_ is the one who matters."

King Alyn was quiet for several moments, obviously thinking over what his nephew and heir had just said. Then he took a deep breath and posed a question, quietly, calmly/

"You really do care about him, don't you?"

"More than anyone else in my life," replied Merlin, pleased that his uncle had finally started to see reason.

But Alyn wasn't finished yet.

"There is a reason it is usually frowned upon for royalty to form such close relationships, where romantic or purely platonic. It makes this lesson much harder to learn. You are first and foremost a Prince, and then a person. Your kingdom is the most important thing in your life now, not Arthur. You have other duties now. And you will stay here in Deira and fulfil them."

The King's tone was final, but Merlin was determined to have the last word.

"In ten or fifteen years, when both you and Uther are dead and gone, it will be Arthur ruling this kingdom, not me. It's my duty to make sure he survives to see that day. That's the reason I was born."

"No-one is born with their fate set, Merlin. The future is decided by our own actions, and the actions of those around us, not by some greater power."

"Maybe for you, but not for me, and not for Arthur. There is a prophecy that has existed for over three hundred years that tells of how Arthur will unite Albion, but only if I help him. I was born for that task. I was given my power for that task."

"You are not the only person with magic, Merlin. Stop thinking that you are different to the rest of us, and that you do not have to obey our rules."

"But I am different. I have never studied magic. I could move objects with my mind before I could walk and talk. I can command the weather, I can stop time, I can bring things to life. I _am_ magic as much as the earth is."

Merlin's voice had risen and his magic had again begun to show as a golden mist surrounding his body. He stood straight, head held high, and for a moment his image turned into that of an older man; one who suited the power coming from him.

The King took a step back, shocked, and maybe a little scared, and watched as the illusion and the light disappeared and it was just his nephew standing before him.

"Emrys," he whispered, still awed at what he had just seen.

"Yes," replied Merlin, "The times are changing now, Uncle. The old kings are dying, and the golden age is beginning. There will finally be peace and prosperity throughout all Albion. I have been chosen to make sure that happens, and I refuse to fail."

King Alyn simply looked at Merlin for several moments, looking proud and possibly a little bit in awe of his nephew. "Your loyalty to Arthur, and to your greater duty is impressive Merlin, but I'm afraid I still cannot let you go to Camelot.

"As I have said, Arthur _is_ capable of protecting himself; he has already done it several times before. King Uther may have a strong will, but I have yet to meet a man like Arthur Pendragon. He will get through this alone.

"As for you, if you go to Camelot before Arthur has managed to talk Uther round, it would likely only have negative consequences. And of course, you still have many duties here."

The King's voice softened once he realised his nephew had understood, and he added, "If it would reassure you, I could send a diplomatic party to Camelot, to follow up on the progress of the alliance. I'm sure they could find some way to get a secret message to Arthur.

"Thank you," murmured Merlin, head bowed and slightly ashamed at his outburst. He had never been one to boast, but Arthur caused him to do many strange things. "I'm sorry for the disturbance, Your Majesty, I just- just really miss him. For the last year and a half, he's been the most important thing in my life. And now that I know that he wants me too, it's even harder to be away from him."

"There is no need to apologise for being in love, Merlin. However, next time I would suggest that you think over the problem and the possible consequences before acting. I do not enjoy having to yell at you, and it will not be much longer until I am no longer able to. Thinking before acting is a very important lesson, Merlin.

"And so that you don't forget that lesson too quickly, you punishment will be to clean up this room, and you are _only_ allowed to use your magic when something is broken.

"Yes, sire," replied Merlin, but he was not angry at his uncle. The pendant in his chest was still pulsing with Arthur's chaotic emotions, but Merlin simply placed a hand over it, and thought with all of his power and magic, "I love you, Arthur Pendragon, and I know that no matter what happens, you _can_ do this. I love you."

* * *

Arthur watched silently, hands linked behind his back, as his father read through the treaty. The room was quiet despite the fact that it was filled with all the advisors, nobles and knights in Camelot. All were waiting to see what had come of this treaty with Deira, a county that had previously been considered too pro-magic for Camelot.

Arthur, of course, knew exactly what the treaty contained, but he was easily the most nervous person in the room. From experience, he knew that the sections concerning defence, trade and the like would please his father, but he was not so sure about the last part, the important part.

As he read slowly through the document, the smile on Uther's face grew wider and wiger. Arthur hoped that his father's happiness at the outcome of this treaty would be strong enough that he would allow the final element to remain.

Although he doubted that it would happen, his relationship with Merlin had taught him that he should never give up hope, because sometimes people acted exactly how you didn't expect them to. Of course, if there was one person in the world who would keep the same behaviour until the day he died, regardless of any other information, it was Uther Pendragon.

As the King reached the end of the last page, his face lost its smile, and turned into a mask of anger. Once he had finished, he spoke, without looking up, "Leave."

Everyone in the room rushed to leave, not wanting to be there when the King's rage was released. The only one left was Arthur, who remained in his position, head held high and silently defying his father.

King Uther rose from his throne and slowly approached his son. He placed himself in front of Arthur, and said in a low dangerous tone, "You are no longer the son I wanted to raise."

That comment hit Arthur hard, but nowhere near as hard as it would have a few months ago. It was no longer his father's approval that he craved, rather Merlin's. Since he'd met the warlock, his priorities had slowly been changing, as had his opinions and his behaviour. Looking back, Arthur was now ashamed of the person he'd been before he'd met Merlin.

It had been a hard path, changing from the person his father wanted him to be, to what Arthur's new found morals demanded of him, but despite his overwhelming guilt at the things he had done, and his father's constant efforts to prevent change, Arthur was proud to be who he was now, even if his father wasn't.

With that mindset, it was possible for Arthur to refuse to give his father a response, a fact that seemed to anger Uther greatly, as he started pacing in front of his son and began to yell.

"I simply cannot believe that you would do something like this, Arthur! It was bad enough when you thought you could be friends with that boy, but now you want to marry him! I can already say that this marriage will not go ahead, but I want to know _why _you agreed to it!"

"And why can't this marriage go ahead, father?" asked Arthur calmly, struggling to keep his raging emotions inside, and inadvertently pushing them through the pendant. "We _need_ this treaty. I've seen how Deira operates, how strong their economy and military is, how loyal the people are to the King, and now their Prince as well. They can continue functioning perfectly well without us, but you know as well as I do that Camelot is suffering."

"We have suffered far too many attacks and attempted assassinations. Our armies are weak, our people don't trust us anymore. You have to face the truth, father. We are sitting ducks. We need the help from Deira to keep our borders sage while we regain the loyalty of our people."

Uther's voice was quiet, but still shaking with anger when he answered his son. "Do not take me for an idiot, Arthur. I know exactly what problems are facing this kingdom. I also know how important this treaty is. But you have still yet to explain why a marriage was organised between _you_ and the boy. I sent you with specific instructions to organise a marriage between him and Morgana. I said nothing about _you_.

"King Alyn suggested the marriage. And before you ask why I didn't argue, I'm smart enough not to refuse a marriage that benefits my kingdom and lets me spend my life with someone I love."

"Love?" questioned Uther, too shocked to say anything more.

"Yes. I love him, father. He is the one I want, the one I need. I apologise if the idea repulses you, but I cannot help who I am and how I feel."

Despite his words, Arthur's expression and the tears in his eyes betrayed how hurt he was at the idea of losing his father over this.

"You know I feel about such _sodomitical_ relationships," said Uther, spitting out the word as though it was a filthy cockroach. Arthur took a step back at that, the tears finally leaving his eyes and forming two shining lines on his cheeks. "It is disgusting, against the natural order. I simply cannot believe you would do such a thing. You have one last chance to beg for my forgiveness and repent, or you will be disowned and disinherited."

Somehow, Arthur managed to reply without completely breaking down. "And what will you do for an heir, when I do not beg?" he asked.

"I would rather leave my kingdom to civil war, than in the hands of a sodomite. No heir would be better than a sodomite. Than a freak."

Arthur chocked back and audible sob at that. He slowly blinked the tears out of his eyes, attempted to swallow his tears, and gave his father his response.

"I love Merlin, and he loves me, no matter what. I can't give that up for someone who is disgusted by what I am."

Arthur's straight backed posture was ruined when his father backhanded him across the face. The Prince fell to his knees, blood dripping down his cheeks from where his father's rings had cut into his skin. The blood mixed with the tears, but Arthur didn't care anymore. He had lost his father, and although he knew he wouldn't do anything different if he had his time again, it still hurt (a _lot_) to know that his father did not love him enough to be able to look past his sexual preferences.

He needed Merlin here. Without his lover, he didn't think he would have the strength to get through this without breaking completely. His father's rejection felt like a dagger through his heart, a dagger that kept twisting and pushing and trying but failing to destroy him. Arthur had no strength left to pull the dagger out and heal the wound; for that he needed Merlin.

While Arthur had been suffering on the floor, Uther had called the rest of the court back into the throne room. They had all assembled, eyes flickering between Uther on his throne, and Arthur kneeling bleeding on the floor. Most seemed very surprised to see the blood; it was common knowledge that Uther cared about nothing in the world more than Arthur.

"I have an announcement to make," said Uther loudly, and all but Arthur turned their eyes to him. "This man before you, formerly Arthur Pendragon, Crown Prince of Camelot, is hereby disowned and disinherited. He is now to be known as Arthur No-Name."

The room was silent; no-one had any idea what to say. Finally, Gaius stepped forward and questioned the King.

"But- why, your Majesty?" he asked, his tone expressing the confusion of everyone in the room.

"That is a private matter, and I have no urge to disclose it," replied Uther.

"The disinheritance of the Crown Prince is no private matter. Tell them all what I've done, or I will," spoke Arthur in a monotone, not even raising his head. Even so, his voice echoed throughout the hall, commanding attention like even Uther's couldn't.

"I will not let my name be shamed any more that it already is from your filthy deeds. Escort him to the dungeons."

Two guards walked reluctantly forward to arrest the former Prince, but before they could reach him, Arthur had stood up and turned to face the court.

"Dur to his Majesty's _embarrassment _at my actions, I will have to tell you myself what I have done."

Arthur sensed his father tensing behind him, and realised that this would probably get him flogged, or maybe even exiled. But he hadn't inherited the Pendragon stubbornness for nothing.

"I fell in love. I fell in love with someone my f- his Majesty," corrected Arthur, "doesn't approve of. I fell in love someone who was below my station. I fell in love with a man. His name: Merlin."

The room was yet again silent. No-one knew what to say to that announcement. Arthur examined faces, seeing the disgust and disapproval of the older nobles, and the knowing grins of some of his knights, and, surprisingly, Gaius.

Arthur didn't know what would happen now, but a warm feeling coming from his chest seemed to counteract any fear he had. However, he started to become suspicious when the pendant began to glow, slowly at first, but soon its light was visible by everyone in the room. Finally, a figure grew out of the pendant, glowing along with the wooden charm.

It was Merlin, which, when he thought about it, shouldn't have surprised Arthur as much as it did. At first he was glad to see Merlin again, but when the hologram of his lover began to speak, he realised things were about to get very, very dangerous.

"I am different. I have never studied magic. I could move objects with my mind before I could walk and talk. I can command the weather, I can stop time, I can bring things to life. I _am_ magic as much as the earth is."

Arthur could not help but feel proud of Merlin then, but he suspected his father would, yet again, be of a different opinion. The image started to disappear, but just before it was completely gone a voice that Arthur recognised as King Alyn's spoke a single word, "Emrys."

The room was still so silent, until Uther spoke.

"Arthur No-Name," Arthur turned to face his father, and took a step back at the anger and – was that hurt? – on his father's face. "You are charged with high treason against the kingdom of Camelot. Your trial will take place in three days. Take him away."

As his arms were bound behind his back by the guards, Arthur felt the panic start to set in. The punishment for treason, especially magical treason, was death. And it wasn't that he wouldn't die in a heartbeat for Merlin – he'd known that for months – but the idea of being executed _really_ freaked him out.

Dying in battle was different, he could defend himself, he could die with honour. But execution wasn't like that. He would burn alive, screaming and begging for mercy, or if his father was feeling merciful, on his knees with an axe through his neck.

He could feel himself starting to hyperventilate, and his shame and his panic didn't help matters. Somehow he managed to hold himself together, until he was alone in the dungeons (that may have had something to do with how quickly the guards had been), but as soon as he was there he broke down. The tears were running down his face and his whole body was heaving with sobs.

Everything had happened so quickly in the last half an hour, and Arthur's mind was only just starting to process it. He was no longer a Prince, his father didn't love him, he was most likely going to be executed within the week, and the chances were that he'd never see Merlin again.

He felt his hope leaving him, the flame that used to burn as bright as the sun dying to almost nothing, when a feeling of love with a touch on Merlin flowed through him. Merlin's love, as usual, managed to set that flame alight again. It wasn't strong, nowhere near that, but it was steady, and it gave Arthur something to concentrate on and keep his mind out of the depressive black hole he was so close to falling into.

**So, there's the new chapter. I know it's ridiculously late (I have no real excuse for that), but in return you're getting an extra-long chap (17 handwritten pages, 3500 words!). Another thing you're getting is a longer story. After a brainstorming session with blackteaplease, I decided to lengthen the plot a bit (probably 2-3 chapters at least). I hope you're all happy about that! I've also got a oneshot or two in the works. One is a bday present for blackteaplease that I just need to type up, the other is still in the works, but it's basically just an Arthur character study oneshot, inspired by a song, and a few things that I've touched upon in this fic but never got the chance to explore… And after this is finished, there'll be a new series of Uther and Arthur's relationship, and how Merlin's changed it, cos I just love writing it! And I apologise for the lack of Merlin/Arthur scenes in this Merlin/Arthur fic, but it is meant to be angsty, and they're so much angstier alone! :P**

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it, and please review!**

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	8. Chapter 7: Prophecies

**Chapter 7: Prophecies**

Arthur had been in the dungeons for three days before anything interesting happened. He had eaten only gruel and water, the first time in his life he had been exposed to such unappetising fare. It made him wonder what life was like for poorer people, people who couldn't afford fresh meat or even bread every day. He resolved to change that when he became King, before remembering that he would never be King.

The little flame that Merlin had lit had been pushed into a dark corner somewhere. Arthur didn't _want_ to hope. He didn't want to believe that his father could love him, only to be rejected again. His thought session was interrupted when a key was shoved into the lock and the cell door was opened.

It was Leon, with several other knights standing a few metres back. Uther had obviously decided that Arthur was too important, or too dangerous, to be escorted by mere guards.

"The King has ordered that you be brought to him," said Leon, continuing when Arthur gave no response, "He would like to speak with you in private before the trial."

Arthur considered being stubborn, but he knew Leon was not happy with what he had to do, and resolved to make this easier for him.

"I suppose I'd better go see what he wants," said Arthur, rising and walking out of his cell. It was only Leon's firm hand on his arm that stopped him. When he looked at the older knight he saw the pair of shackles he held, and his shoulders dropped.

"I'm sorry, Arthur," said Leon as he bound his former Prince's arms behind his back.

"I know, Leon. You have no reason to feel guilty. I forgive you for any part in this. The only people to blame here are myself and the King."

Leon nodded and placed one hand on Arthur's shoulder. The other knights surrounded the pair and escorted them out of the dungeons to the King's chambers. Once they were outside the door, the group stopped and Leon turned to Arthur.

"Congratulations on your engagement, by the way. I thought someone ought to say it." Arthur smiled weakly at that, happy that someone in Camelot accepted him and Merlin, but unable to give into complete happiness with what awaited him.

Leon signalled to two of the knights, and they knocked on the King's door, and then opened it.

"Good luck," whispered the head knight, before gripping his friend's upper arm firmly and entering the room.

Uther was sitting at his desk, facing the door. He gave no reaction to his former son, simply dismissing the knights and remaining in the same position.

"You wanted to talk to me, Your Majesty?" asked Arthur, his voice empty of emotion.

"Drop the formality, Arthur. We have no audience here."

Arthur simply scoffed at that. "Informal meetings do not usually involve one of the participants being chained, Your Majesty."

Uther ignored that comment, "I have a favour to ask of you, Arthur," he said.

"I only do favours for people I respect," interrupted Arthur rudely.

"Now is not the time to be a child! Now,-"

"I don't care. I honestly don't give a damn. And I'm not going to care until you're down on your knees begging me for forgiveness."

Uther's eyes narrowed at that, and Arthur realised that this probably wasn't the right approach if he wanted to fix things. However, in the past few days, the pain his father had caused him had turned into a sort of apathy. The only thing he could bring himself to care about was Merlin.

"I will not beg for your forgiveness, Arthur. I would like you to apologise before the court, and then I will forgive you and have you cleared of all charges. I do not want to lose you, Arthur. You mean too much to me."

"Obviously not enough," muttered Arthur, stupidly letting his hurt break through the mask of apathy.

"What are you talking about, Arthur?" asked Uther, confused.

That his father didn't even realise what he had done hurt Arthur even more.

"If you cared about me, father," said Arthur, speaking the word for the first time in three days, "you would accept me no matter who I love. You wouldn't call me a freak for falling in love. There are only two people I have ever truly loved; two people I would do anything for to gain their approval. But if one refuses to accept me for who I am, it is only natural for me to cling tighter to the other one. I would rather die that lose both of you."

"You do not need to lie to me, Arthur. I know you care about him more than me. I just don't understand why," replied Uther.

Arthur noticed the similarities between this and their conversation three days ago, and hoped that this time would turn out better.

"I don't care about him more than I care about you. It's just… he cares about me back."

Uther's eyes narrowed at that, and then his expression softened and he looked sad. "I've failed you, haven't I?" he said quietly.

Arthur didn't reply to his father, instead staring at the wall behind Uther's head and speaking slowly and softly.

"I have spent my whole life trying to make you proud. I have studied, trained and fought harder than anyone else in this kingdom, and yet they all receive more praise than me. I've won tournaments, I've killed beasts, and I've even almost died for you! And yet you're still not proud of me. I want to be the son you want, I always have, but you've shown me that's impossible. So I'm not even going to bother anymore."

"This seems to be rather sudden, Arthur. Last time we spoke you showed nothing of this, Arthur. Are you sure the boy hasn't enchanted you?" replied Uther.

Arthur met his father's eyes, his own blazing in anger. "Why do you insist on blaming all your mistakes on magic? All of this started long before I even met him! I never told you because you were always going on about the importance of hiding emotions. I didn't want you to hate me anymore that you already did! The only thing Merlin did was show me that things could be different; that I could be loved and cared for without having to sacrifice everything else I want."

Father and son stared at each other for several long moments, before Arthur broke the silence.

"I will not apologise for loving Merlin, or for agreeing to marry him, but I am prepared to announce my repentance for dishonouring and disobeying you. I hope that will be enough for you," his throat caught, "for you to lessen the sentence."

"Arthur," said his father softly, rising from his seat to move around, placing one hand comfortingly on his son's shoulder, "The last thing I wish for is to see you dead. You are my son and however little I may have shown it in the past, I do care about you and I do love you. I was angry and I acted rashly, something I should never have done. I cannot pretend that I am pleased by your actions, but my reaction was uncalled for, and I shall do my best to remedy the situation."

Arthur tried his best to avoid looking at the moisture forming in his father's eyes, for fear of a similar reaction of his own, but it was hard not to meet his father's gaze. "Thank you," he whispered as the moisture left his eyes and formed a tear track down his cheek.

The King nodded, removing his hand from Arthur's shoulder. "I shall call the court in one hour. Sir Leon!" he called.

The knight opened the door and entered, preceding only a few steps into the room. "Yes, Sire?" he asked, unable to stop his worried gaze from flickering to a distinctly red-eyed Arthur.

"You are to escort the Prince to his bedchambers so he can prepare for his trial in one hour."

"Yes, Sire," replied Sir Leon, and me moved over to take Arthur gently by the arm. Arthur followed with no resistance, but just before they reached the door, he turned to his father and spoke.

"If it helps, father, I fell in love with him long before I knew he had magic."

* * *

Arthur waited outside the throne room, arms still chained behind his back. Sir Leon was on his right and Sir Ywain on his left. Neither looked too happy to be playing this role, but both had a firm (but not painful) hold upon Arthur's upper arms

He had only had an hour's break since his father had dismissed him, but that one hour had been heaven. He had not properly washed in over four days, nor had he had a change of clothes in that time. Some people (Merlin) might be content to live like that, but Arthur was royalty and as such he had standards he liked to uphold. Of course, it had also been nice to have a fresh, warm, tasty meal as well.

But now was not the time to think about finally being clean and full again, now was the time to think about keeping his promise to his father, and hoping that his father kept his in return. His stomach was a bundle of nerves, but he let none of it show in his face. His carefully schooled expression displayed only confidence.

A loud call sounded from inside the throne room. "Bring in the prisoner!" and then two large wooden doors opened. Leon and Ywain walked Arthur forward until he was directly before the King, and pushed him gently to his knees.

"Prisoner," proclaimed Uther in a commanding voice, "You have been charged with high treason against Camelot for the crime of consorting with sorcery. What do you have to say in your defence?"

Arthur fixed his eyes upon his father's and then spoke, "I am aware that you may think it a pitiful defence, but I was not aware of Merlin's magic until very recently. He was my friend, and even my lover before I knew he was a sorcerer. He has saved my life countless times, and he has my trust. I was not going to shun him because of abilities he did not choose, and that he has only ever used for good.

"I did what I believed to be right, and I will stick by my decision. I regret that my actions were against the laws of Camelot, and I apologise for that, but I still think that I did the right thing."

Arthur considered going further and challenging the law itself for being wrong, but he realised that would not be a very good idea if he wanted his father to spare him. He had come to understand in the past day that his father did care, enough to spare his son at lease, but he had not forgotten how rashly his father could act when provoked.

So instead he remained silent and kept his gaze focused on his father. The King was silent as he decided his son's future, town between upholding the law and protecting his only son. No-one spoke, all waiting for the King to decide the future of the Prince they loved.

Eventually, the King stood, ready to proclaim the sentence. "Arthur," he said, "You have broken the law of Camelot, and for that I cannot let you go unpunished. However, you have shown repentance, and in light of that and your past services to the Kingdom, it would be wrong to sentence you death."

At this Arthur let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding, feeling a huge weight lift from his shoulders. He was not going to die. No matter what happened now, there was hope. Hope that he would see Merlin again, hope that he and his father would be able to forgive each other, hope that one day Camelot would be a kingdom where people like him and Merlin would not have to hide.

His father continued, "You shall be banished from Camelot until the end of my reign, and which point the next King will decide if you are allowed to re-enter the kingdom. Your disownment is rescinded; that was a decision I made rashly and it was wrong. However, due to the nature of your punishment, you will remain disinherited. You have forty-eight hours to leave the kingdom. You are dismissed."

The two knights helped Arthur rise and led him out of the room, but just as he was about to leave, he twisted his head over his shoulder to get one last look at his father. For all he knew, it could be one of the last times he ever saw the man. Their eyes met, and Arthur gave a slight, thankful, smile, and nodded once in recognition of what his father had done, before turning back and leaving the room.

* * *

It had been two days since Arthur had left Camelot; three days since the trial, and Uther was finally letting himself mourn his son. He had left his guard at the castle and had journeyed on foot to a small hill about a mile from Camelot. He carried only a small parcel; mementos of Arthur.

Uther had not visited this place for years, it held to many sad memories for him. It was Igraine's grave, and would now become Arthur's memorial. Once he reached the top of the hill he set down the parcel and fell to his knees, sadness and guilt running through him.

He had lost his family, and no matter how much he tried to tell himself it was because of magic he knew that his son was right. It was due to his mistakes, his own failures as a husband and father. The guilt struck at his heart like a hammer, determined to break him. He had tried to escape this pain for years, but it had never truly left him. Deep inside he knew it was his fault Igraine was dead, but he had tried to forget because it _hurt_ too much.

Uther knelt there for several moments, mourning his wife and son, before he rose and withdrew a hammer and chisel from the parcel. He moved over to a large rock beside Igraine's grave and lifted the two tools. Slowly, clumsily, he carved first and 'A', then an 'R' into the stone, continuing until he had formed his son's name in the rock.

He then removed the other items from the parcel; Arthur's very first coronet, one of his shirts, and his sword. He laid them out carefully before the stone. The King stood there for several seconds; staring at all he had left of his son, before a sudden anger overcame him. He picked up the sword and swang it down hard on the stone, just wanting _something_ to break, to have his surroundings represent how he was feeling.

But the sword didn't break. Instead, it carved through the stone like butter. Shocked, Uther let go, and the sword remained, sticking hilt first out of the stone. Then, before his very eyes, the writing on the stone shifted to form completely different words.

Uther read them slowly, out loud, "Who so pullet out this Sword of this Stone, is Rightwise King Born of Albion."

Uther took a step back, away from the stone, away from the obvious use of sorcery.

"Who's there?" he yelled, "Show yourself, sorcerer!"

A low chuckle sounded behind him and Uther span around to see a female figure walking up the slope. She wore a dress of pure white, and a cloak that looked almost like water. She seemed to shimmer and sway in the wind, as though she was not really there.

"Nimueh," he whispered, eyes narrowing, "What are you doing here, traitor?" He drew his sword from its scabbard and swung it at her, but he met no resistance. The metal simply passed straight through her.

She laughed again before replying. "You cannot kill me, Uther Pendragon. That task has already been fulfilled by none other than your son's manservant. I am no longer alive, and I have no power to follow my own will anymore. I am a Lady of the Lake, a Keeper of the Prophecy. It is my duty to serve the Old Religion until I have paid for my wrongdoings.

"I have been sent to activate a prophecy. One concerning your son. You have made mistakes, Uther Pendragon, mistakes which may cause the undoing of not only Camelot, but of the future of humankind. Luckily for you, the Old Religion has decided to intervene and right the balance. Arthur _must_ become King."

Uther was not really sure what to say. "Is… is that what this is?" he asked, gesturing to the stone, "A prophecy to make sure he becomes King?"

"Yes, replied the witch simply.

"But then why does it say Albion? Arthur was only ever heir to Camelot," asked the King, confused

"Arthur is the Once and Future King who will unite the lands of Albion. He will bring peace, prosperity and magic back to Camelot and he will right the wrongs that you have caused. As long as you do nothing more to harm him, the Old Religion will not force you to serve them once your time on this earth is over. Goodbye, Uther Pendragon. Do not make this world suffer more than she already has."

And with that final comment she disappeared, fading like mist. Uther remained, his mind still processing what Nimueh had told them. All his instincts told him not to believe the lying witch, but then he thought of Arthur. His son had always been far more compassionate and noble than his father. Uther had suspected for ages that his son would be a better King than he had been, so was it that much of a stretch for him to be the greatest King of Albion?

No, answered Uther to himself, that was entirely believable.

**I am so sorry for the horrible long wait between chapters, and I don't really have much defence for that. My last few weeks in Germany were very busy, and I didn't have any time for writing, and then I just got really really lazy about it back in Australia. I lost inspiration for a little while, but it did come back! BUT it is here now! For that you have two things to thank. One: blackteaplease who has been pestering me for the past few weeks about this chapter, and will be very happy to see that it is finished, and two: everyone who has me on alert. I was looking at story stats and I noticed that 101 people had me on alert for this story! I looked down the list at everyone's names and felt very guilty, leaving all you lot without updates for so long, so this chapter is for you! Hope you liked it!**

**Notes on the chapter:**

**The writing that appeared on the stone is paraphrased from T.H. White's 'The Sword in the Stone' (courtesy of Wikipedia). The line where Nimueh talks about Arthur being the Once and Future King is quoted from the Great Dragon. The whole thing with Nimueh came from several sources: the legends, my own mind, and a few fics I've read in the past few weeks!**

**So, what did you all think? I'm personally rather happy with it, although I've noticed that Uther's getting almost as much screen time in this fic as Merlin, and definitely more time with Arthur! That will change with the next chapter, which will probably include a bit of tension between Merlin and Arthur, because although I love them, they're so much more fun when they're upset!**

**Hope you liked it, please review, and I apologise again for the late update!**

**Fb xox**


	9. Author's Note

Dear Readers,

I don't know if you've been reading the notes on my profile page, but I am severely lacking in inspiration for writing this fic. I know how it's going to end (both the short and long versions), but with university and my new obsession with Torchwood, I can't find the time or the inspiration.

This means that this fic will be put on hiatus until further notice.

UNLESS one of you wants to adopt this fic. However, if that were the case, I still have several conditions.

I will read all or most of your stories first, just to make sure I like your style and it fits with my story.

I will beta every chapter you write, to make sure it's still going where I wanted. That doesn't mean you can't make any changes or bring in new ideas, it just means I have to okay them first. Also, no OCs (apart from very minor characters).

I reserve the right to not pick anyone, in case I decide not to go through with this, or I suddenly get more inspiration. However, if I've said its okay, I won't say you have to stop writing it.

If you adopt the fic without my approval I WILL report you.

I hope that makes everything clear for you. If you are interested, please just PM me, and I'll check out your stuff. In my mind, this fic goes on anywhere from 2-5 more chapters, but any new plotlines may extend it, and we'll work that out together. I will tell you my ideas, and I hope you stick to the basic outline.

Thank you for reading this, and I am very sorry that I'm not able to finish Happily Ever After.

Floss bucket


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